Entries Tagged as 'Uncategorized'

Saturday, July 28th, 2012

#160: Don’t Get A Dog

What is it that makes middle-aged women not only run out en masse and get dogs, but become more attached to their dogs than to, say, their husbands and children? To spend more money on an automatic dog feeder than on home dinners? Never mind, don’t answer that, I know what: The dogs actually like […]

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012

#159: Don’t Talk To Strangers

Want to make your kids so embarrassed by you that their faces burst into flames and they attempt to sink right down into the grime-covered floor? Then go to a restaurant with them, spend some time acting like a normal person — you know, ordering a glass of wine, surveying the menu — and then, […]

Monday, July 4th, 2011

#157: Don’t Fear the Wrong

Some old people, even some who are not my husband, are so afraid of being wrong — of feeling insecure, inexpert, foolish, stupid, whatever — that they work very hard at being right all the time. Or at least, at not being wrong, not doing or saying the wrong thing. What’s, well, wrong with that?, […]

Monday, May 2nd, 2011

#156: Downsize Your Dining Room

During one of my random tours of Twitter the other day (how are you supposed to use that thing?), I happened to notice that @EpsteinLiterary, aka literary agent Kate Epstein, claimed she’d sold her house in less than a day using the advice in a book she’d represented, Okay, excuse the dangling sentence there, but […]

Wednesday, November 10th, 2010

#153: Don’t Fear Death

I went to the cemetery today with my badass friend Mary Jean: historic Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn, not that far from where we met and became friends as young moms 25 years ago.  A few minutes into our old people-style trolley tour, I looked over to find Mary Jean had put on her sunglasses: How freaking […]

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

#151: Never Wear Shorts and Socks Together

How Not To Act Old turned two a few weeks ago, and all this time I’ve been pussy-footing around the issue of clothes. Why? Well, mostly because I didn’t want to step on the toes of my old Glamour colleague Charla Krupp, whose excellent book How Not To Look Old deals with stuff like fashion […]

Tuesday, June 1st, 2010

#149: Quit Yer Bellyaching

HNTAO afficionados know that the whole point of this blog is to point out new ways of not acting old. We don’t warn against stereotypical granny behavior — covering your furniture in plastic, sucking on hard candies — because, duh, we all know we’re not supposed to do that, right? Right??? So why are you […]

Sunday, May 2nd, 2010

#148: Don’t Fear Porn

Way back in the last century, when I was a young and semi-innocent lass, I lived one summer on a soybean farm. Given that this farm was owned by a farmer and that I was living with a fellow who both believed that women shouldn’t work (yes, that’s how long ago it was), and that […]

Friday, April 9th, 2010

#147: Don’t Take Pictures of Your Freaking Flowers

Okay, I’ve been getting complaints. Ho Springs is okay, people have been telling me. But we really love How Not To Act Old and want you to write some new posts instead of just leaving that big honking Ho Springs ad up there day after livelong I’m-so-bored-I’m-going-to-blow-my-brains-out day. All right, not a very effective way […]

Tuesday, August 25th, 2009

#143: Don’t Facebook Old

Over on More.com, my post today is about How Not To Act Old on Facebook, offering some tips not in the book, which offers lots of Facebooking advice that’s not on this blog. Why haven’t I blogged here about Facebook before now? For one, I needed to save lots of new and exciting stuff exclusively […]

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