Entries Tagged as 'fears'

Wednesday, November 10th, 2010

#153: Don’t Fear Death

I went to the cemetery today with my badass friend Mary Jean: historic Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn, not that far from where we met and became friends as young moms 25 years ago.  A few minutes into our old people-style trolley tour, I looked over to find Mary Jean had put on her sunglasses: How freaking […]

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

Why So Glum? 25 Very Good Reasons

Of course young people are happy: They have great bodies, they have lots of sex with other people with great bodies, and — well, do you really need any other reason? And old people are happy too, because they raked in lots of money during the boom years and now they can live high on […]

Monday, August 4th, 2008

#s84-92: How Not To Vacation Old, Part 1

For the age-challenged, the most difficult part of going on vacation can be getting ready. We’re nervous about leaving home, is the thing. We don’t like being away from all our routines, all our stuff. And then, we worry about what’s going to happen to the place when we’re gone. Here, how not to act […]

Friday, July 11th, 2008

#64: Don’t Fear The Tat

Tat is of course short for tattoo, and the truth is, I do fear them. The neck tattoo is, to me, what shaggy hair and elephant bells and leather jackets were to our parents: A sign of both danger and decay. Show me a neck tattoo, and I’ll show you a pregnant 15-year-old who drinks […]

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008

#53: Don’t Fear The Teenager

Let’s face it: teenagers are frightening. They sleep till dark, wallow in filth, spend much of their time steeped in electronic violence and pornography, and the rest of their time getting high and squandering your money. They drive too fast, have irresponsible sex, take insanely dangerous risks, and scariest of all, are perversely adept at […]

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

#43: Don’t Fear Rap

Rap music may seem like part of the plot by the evil young to drive us all to mass suicide so they can grab our high-paying jobs and steal our needlepoint pillows, but I’m here to tell you, you needn’t be afraid of rap. After being tortured for countless hours in the car by rap […]

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

#34: Don’t Fear The Thong

All right, you know you’re not supposed to wear granny panties. But what’s wrong with bikinis? Why does acting young have to mean wearing a thong? Thongs are…..uncomfortable. Even the ones that are supposed to be comfortable are uncomfortable. They make you feel like you have an intractable wedgie. Plus, they make you feel completely […]

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

#32: Avoid Avoiding Babies

I know you’re not a monster; It’s just that you’re sooooooo over the baby thing. You’ve already put in your time jollying the infant who started crying in the middle of the meal, bouncing the toddler up and down the aisle of the plane, being pinned beneath the child who refused to sit anywhere but […]

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