Entries Tagged as 'grooming'

Wednesday, January 12th, 2011

#154: I’ve Decided: It’s “Don’t Dress Up”

Despite the confusion the New York Times brought to this issue,  I’ve decided after much deliberation and observation that the official How Not To Act Old dictate should be “Don’t Dress Up.” The Evil Young are much more likely to go out looking like they cleaned the basement, got drunk, danced all night, had sex […]

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

#151: Never Wear Shorts and Socks Together

How Not To Act Old turned two a few weeks ago, and all this time I’ve been pussy-footing around the issue of clothes. Why? Well, mostly because I didn’t want to step on the toes of my old Glamour colleague Charla Krupp, whose excellent book How Not To Look Old deals with stuff like fashion […]

Thursday, December 17th, 2009

#146: Don’t Dress Up. I Mean, Don’t Dress Down.

Everything boomers do is bad.  You know that, right?  Not only are boomers selfish, greedy, boring, and disgusting, but, worst of all, they’re deeply unfashionable. Witness today’s incredibly offensive piece in the New York Times Style section on Dressing for Success, Again.  It wasn’t enough for the writer to make the point that young men […]

Friday, October 17th, 2008

#131: Try Not To Be So Chic

My fashionista daughter in Paris forwarded me a link to Advanced Style, a blog on chic into one’s golden years, or silver years, or wizened years, or something. Thanks for thinking of me and HNTAO, sweetie, though I’m not sure whether to be flattered or insulted by the viewpoint of this blog.  On the one […]

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

#122: Throw Off the Middle-Aged Burka

When exactly did the imams sweep through my town in suburban New Jersey and decree that every woman over the age of 40 had to chop off her hair, wash off her makeup, and start dressing in baggy black or beige linen or flannel, buttoned up to the neck, hanging down to the ground, and […]

Tuesday, September 9th, 2008

#121: No Arcade Fire or Porkpie Hats

It’s one thing for an ancient (that’s you, baby) to keep abreast (there’s an old word) of popular culture and stay aware of what the young and deck and hipsterish are doing just to torture you. But it’s quite another to attempt to actually be a hipster. You may think you can deconstruct all the […]

Friday, July 11th, 2008

#64: Don’t Fear The Tat

Tat is of course short for tattoo, and the truth is, I do fear them. The neck tattoo is, to me, what shaggy hair and elephant bells and leather jackets were to our parents: A sign of both danger and decay. Show me a neck tattoo, and I’ll show you a pregnant 15-year-old who drinks […]

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008

#26: Shave The Mustache

I might have said Don’t Grow A Goatee, but my husband has a goatee and he looks pretty good in it, or at least he’s had it so long we’re afraid to see what he looks like without it. So I’ll hold the line here at mustache. Mustaches are the facial hair of cops and […]

Friday, June 13th, 2008

#14: Don't Fear The Waxer

Listen, you can have all the best work in the world done. You can get botoxed and Restalyned till you’re smooth as a balloon; you can have your boobs lifted to your chin and your tummy tucked into your backbone. But if you don’t wax down there, anybody who gets close enough is going to […]

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