Entries Tagged as 'Technology'

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

Come. Join My Cult.

In my never-ending quest for world domination to sell more books to make my readers’ lives even more wonderful, may I suggest you join a How Not To Act Old Meetup. If you’ve never heard of a Meetup, well, that’s all the more reason to hurry on down there because it’s a sign you might […]

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

#136: Take Off That Store-Boughten Underwear: A Shocking Report from the Land of the Young

Okay, I’m sorry, all you young ‘uns reading this post, but there’s no way for me to tell this story correctly except via an old person-style long and convoluted anecdote. But first, to tantalize you about what’s ahead and to keep you interested, I offer the following visual clue: Now that I have your attention, […]

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

#135: Don’t Forward Emails Like This To All Your Girlfriends

Dear Tide: I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I’ve used it all of my married life, as my mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my forties I find it even better! About a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new […]

Monday, October 6th, 2008

#127: Do A Web Startup…..I Mean, Don’t Do A Web Startup…..I Mean, Do A…..Oh, Never Mind. Just Go Read The Daily Beast

Forget your stock market panic, repress your Palin-phobia, and reawaken your lust for life by discovering The Daily Beast, Tina Brown’s big new web site that launched today. What’s so thrilling? Besides being a gorgeous site with an amazing array of talent behind it (hi, Henry; hi, Bonnie), the most heartening aspect of the whole […]

Thursday, September 18th, 2008

#123: Stop Surfing The Net

If you still say you’re “surfing” the “net,” you’ve got to stop right now. I said RIGHT NOW! That phrase is just so 2003, or maybe 1998 — I don’t know, all those years pretty much run together. Don’t spend any time in “chat rooms,” either. Or use the word “cyberspace,” except ironically. In fact, […]

Monday, July 28th, 2008

#81: Learn To Text With Your Thumbs

Old people behavior of which I am guilty: Holding your phone at arm’s length (so you can read the numbers and letters, natch!) and then typing with your index finger. No no no no. You’ve got to pretend your index finger doesn’t even exist. Forget the middle, ring, and pinky fingers too. The young way […]

Friday, July 25th, 2008

#s 75-80: How Not To Act Old Around Your Babysitter

You and your babysitter, you’re a team, compadres, right? Riiiiiiiight. It may have occurred to you, somewhere in the years you’ve been employing childcare, that your sitter is a lot closer in age to your nine-year-old than she is to you. You may think that you’re both the adults, in league against the kids, but […]

Wednesday, June 18th, 2008

#30: Stop Using Email

Leave it to the evil young to get all of us alter kockers addicted to email, and then to abandon the form in favor of texting and facebook. Like waxing, email is proving to be one of the Great Age Divides. Old people can’t figure out why anyone would text, IM, or facebook (wait: is […]

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

#21: Don’t Leave A Message

This is a weird one, contributed by my 18-year-old son Joe (see #2). Only old people leave voice mails, says Joe. Young people, accustomed to communicating by cell phone vs. land line, figure that the other person will see their number in missed calls and return the call if they want or need to talk. […]

Thursday, June 12th, 2008

#8: Don’t Yell Into Your Cell Phone

Old people talk into their cell phones as if the phone was a tin can attached to a string, and the string was so long that the person with their ear pressed to the other tin can was in China. Although cell phones are extremely tiny and not connected to any wires, they’re really more […]

Blog Widget by LinkWithin