Entries Tagged as 'cars'

Sunday, July 19th, 2009

NEW VIDEO: Age Police Arrest Woman for Driving Too Slowly

That pesky Age Policeman, aka Noah Levinson, is on traffic patrol today, chasing down over-40 drivers who dare to drive too slowly.  The director and camerawoman is the ever-inspired Alexa Garbarino.

Monday, September 22nd, 2008

#124: Gotta Love Those Entourage Boys

I was walking down the street the other day — yes, right here in New Jersey — and there coming toward me were Vince, Turtle, Drama, Ari, and E. I tried waving to them, then leaping in front of them, and finally, in an attempt to get their attention, whipped off my turtleneck, sweatpants, and […]

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

#s105-116: How Not To Vacation Old, Part See Ya Later

This is my last post until after Labor Day because I’m going on vacation. Well, I’m not going on vacation. In the second of eight straight years of paying college tuition, I can’t afford a vacation. But HNTAO is going on vacation. By itself. On a cruise. Except it’s pretending it’s going to Vegas (besides, […]

Friday, August 8th, 2008

#s94-100: How Not To Vacation Old, Part 2

Okay, in the last installment, we got you carefully and finally out of the house. Whee! But you still have to make it to your vacation destination without acting old. Let’s go: 1. If you’re flying, do not get to the airport three and a half hours ahead of time. Yes, it takes a while […]

Wednesday, July 16th, 2008

#67: Don’t Put It In Cruise Control

Remember cruise control? When I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to grow up and get myself a fancy car with cruise control. I’d set that baby at 75, sit back, and feel like one of the Jetsons. Well, I now have a car with cruise control. I guess. The fact is that I’ve never […]

Monday, July 7th, 2008

#60: Garage Your Hog

Having just returned from a 700-mile road trip, I can tell you with certainty that every motorcyclist on the American highway is at least 56 years old. All the biker babes have Nice ‘N’ Easy covering their gray and pot bellies straining against their leather pants. Motorcyclists may think that roaring along on a hog […]

Friday, June 13th, 2008

#13: Unless You're In Nagasaki, Don't Give (Or Ask) Directions

Once, looking for a swimming hole in Maine, a local told me to turn left where the old school burned down. That’s what giving directions is like these days. In this era of Mapquest and GPS, it’s meaningless to tell someone to turn left at the church and go under the railroad trestle and look […]

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