Entries Tagged as 'exercise'

Sunday, November 15th, 2009

Thrilling Dispatch from the Land of the Young

Sometimes I think the young live in a different world from you and me. Not just, you know, one with lots more sex and lots less confusion over how to turn on the television, but a land where they watch, listen to, and know about people and things hidden to the rest of us. For […]

Wednesday, July 30th, 2008

#82: Stop All That Moving Around

Here’s a counterintuitive directive: If you want not to act old, you’ve got to knock off all that surfing, skating, basketball-playing and cardio-kickboxing you’ve evidently been doing. Lying on the couch, staying out of the gym, and sitting on the sidelines are the sports of the young, while middle-aged and older people are the ones […]

Monday, June 30th, 2008

#51: Don’t Go Thinking This Is Normal

Do you remember the first time you saw a naked old person? There you were, all young and smooth-skinned and tight-bodied, thinking that was normal because you looked like everybody on TV. And then there was the shock of how different the old person looked: big gut, droopy boobs, wobbly butt, ewwww. Except now that […]

Sunday, June 22nd, 2008

#40: Scratch The Golf Game

Some sports are young and some sports are old. Examples? Basketball is young; baseball is old. Snowboarding is young; skiing is old. Skateboarding is young; roller-skating is old. And golf is old. So old I can’t even think of something similar-yet-different (miniature golf? no; croquet? nah) to put on the young side of the equation […]

Wednesday, June 18th, 2008

#29: Get Off the Eternal Diet

I hate to say it, but I tend to be like this: perennially on a diet. Rarely at the weight I want to stay. Tedious, frustrating, and old old old. Why old? Because it lacks the can-do spirit evidenced by the younger generation of women. That Better-Body-After-Baby ideal, that Biggest Loser mentality. It was our […]

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008

#28: Don’t Listen To Springsteen

Dear Bruce: I’m so sorry. It kills me to do this. But I love you, and I know you’d want me to tell the truth as I see it deep in my heart. So as wonderful as you are, as much as I admire you, as much as I still love to dance and drive […]

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

#5: Don’t Dance To “Sexual Healing”

Dancing to a sexy song, especially an old sexy song, is probably all right as long as there aren’t any other people around, particularly any young people. But if young people are watching, attempting to get thoroughly enough lost in moving to the music to enjoy it, much less be any good at it, will […]

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