Entries Tagged as 'music'

Friday, September 5th, 2008

#120: Neutralize Your Crazy Old Sperm

Yes, John McCain, I’m talking to you. Lest you and Cindy decide that a fifth child would provide, ala Palin, a political advantage, I direct your attention to this new study that shows that children of fathers over 55 are more likely to develop bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses. Maternal age, I hasten to […]

Sunday, August 17th, 2008

#104: Look Up To Philippe and Patti

Need role models for how not to act old? Two great ones whose biopics are playing in theatres right now: highwire artist Philippe Petit and rocker Patti Smith. If you want to feel inspired and energized by an individual’s undiminished drive and excitement about life, gallop don’t stroll to see Man on Wire, the story […]

Monday, July 7th, 2008

#60: Garage Your Hog

Having just returned from a 700-mile road trip, I can tell you with certainty that every motorcyclist on the American highway is at least 56 years old. All the biker babes have Nice ‘N’ Easy covering their gray and pot bellies straining against their leather pants. Motorcyclists may think that roaring along on a hog […]

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

#43: Don’t Fear Rap

Rap music may seem like part of the plot by the evil young to drive us all to mass suicide so they can grab our high-paying jobs and steal our needlepoint pillows, but I’m here to tell you, you needn’t be afraid of rap. After being tortured for countless hours in the car by rap […]

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008

#28: Don’t Listen To Springsteen

Dear Bruce: I’m so sorry. It kills me to do this. But I love you, and I know you’d want me to tell the truth as I see it deep in my heart. So as wonderful as you are, as much as I admire you, as much as I still love to dance and drive […]

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

#5: Don’t Dance To “Sexual Healing”

Dancing to a sexy song, especially an old sexy song, is probably all right as long as there aren’t any other people around, particularly any young people. But if young people are watching, attempting to get thoroughly enough lost in moving to the music to enjoy it, much less be any good at it, will […]

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