So chuffed about the Wall Street Journal review of How Not To Act Old, which calls the book “as insightful as it is entertaining,” that I may stay up till 10:30 tonight and put an extra wedge of lemon in my seltzer. Woo! The Journal piece includes a book excerpt detailing what items of hipster […]
Okay, I’m sorry, all you young ‘uns reading this post, but there’s no way for me to tell this story correctly except via an old person-style long and convoluted anecdote. But first, to tantalize you about what’s ahead and to keep you interested, I offer the following visual clue: Now that I have your attention, […]
My fashionista daughter in Paris forwarded me a link to Advanced Style, a blog on chic into one’s golden years, or silver years, or wizened years, or something. Thanks for thinking of me and HNTAO, sweetie, though I’m not sure whether to be flattered or insulted by the viewpoint of this blog. On the one […]
Favorite season of the old: Fall. Why? Because the colors are so lovely, and you get to wear clothes that cover your body again, and you’re forced to stay in the house and eat beef stew and apple pie and drink sidecars. Sounds pretty good to me, but not to the young. For young people, […]
When exactly did the imams sweep through my town in suburban New Jersey and decree that every woman over the age of 40 had to chop off her hair, wash off her makeup, and start dressing in baggy black or beige linen or flannel, buttoned up to the neck, hanging down to the ground, and […]
It’s one thing for an ancient (that’s you, baby) to keep abreast (there’s an old word) of popular culture and stay aware of what the young and deck and hipsterish are doing just to torture you. But it’s quite another to attempt to actually be a hipster. You may think you can deconstruct all the […]
Confused about whether you’re old or not? Here’s a little quiz to help you find out. If someone says it’s “snowing down south,” they’re trying to tell you: a) A shipment of cocaine has just arrived on the south side of town. b) Alabama is having some hella freaky weather. c) Your slip is showing. […]
As the years advance, we full-figured gals have a, ahem, weighty challenge ahead of us. How to hoist the girls as high as possible without resorting to a bra the size of Wyoming? The answer, as with so many things, is money. Any bra that’s going to do its considerable job and still look feminine, […]
Some sports are young and some sports are old. Examples? Basketball is young; baseball is old. Snowboarding is young; skiing is old. Skateboarding is young; roller-skating is old. And golf is old. So old I can’t even think of something similar-yet-different (miniature golf? no; croquet? nah) to put on the young side of the equation […]
All right, you know you’re not supposed to wear granny panties. But what’s wrong with bikinis? Why does acting young have to mean wearing a thong? Thongs are…..uncomfortable. Even the ones that are supposed to be comfortable are uncomfortable. They make you feel like you have an intractable wedgie. Plus, they make you feel completely […]
