Monday, July 7th, 2008...11:42 am
#60: Garage Your Hog
Having just returned from a 700-mile road trip, I can tell you with certainty that every motorcyclist on the American highway is at least 56 years old. All the biker babes have Nice ‘N’ Easy covering their gray and pot bellies straining against their leather pants. Motorcyclists may think that roaring along on a hog makes them look cool, or young, but as the elderly vehicle of choice, bikes are right up there with Winnebagos. Seriously, just eve-drop on the banter going on in any tire shop or mechanic’s place.
How did motorcyles go from being a symbol of youthful rebellion to one of middle-aged desperation? The timeline begins with Marlon Brando looking young and hot in The Wild Ones, in 1953. Hippies and bikers united in the counter-cultural beliefs in the 1960s, until the Rolling Stones hired the Hells Angels to police their concert at Altamont in 1969. A fan was killed, a riot ensued, and the image of motorcyclists went from cool to terrifying in two seconds flat.
It got even weirder after that, when a band of Angels plotted to kill Mick Jagger, attacking the Hamptons by boat.
These image problems discouraged young people from taking up motorcycling over the past few decades, so that now most of the active motorcyclists are middle-aged or older. If it’s youthfulness you’re after, trade in that hog for something more daring, like racing junk. Or a fixed-gear bicycle. Look Ma, no brakes!

Motorcycles are healthy, at least it’s a distraction to banging the 24 year old intern at work then being held for blackmail for being stupid about it.
Motorcycles are a threat to women of a certain age no doubt, they represent freedom, power and self determination. Regardless of some actor in some film in Hollister (who never was a biker), or some junkie 1 percenter racist gang member.
If your man suddenly wants to rekindle his wild oats by purchasing a bike just like his Triumph from ’72, then let him, smile, and appreciate that something gets his thing moving again.
Motorcycles are fun so drop dead, thanks.
Young guys don’t buy Harleys, but they are buying lots of sport bikes. Crotch-rockets are too uncomfortable to ride very far so you almost never see them on the Interstate. I think they are a significant part of youth culture. Motorcycles have killed way more young Marines than have died in Iraq and Afghanistan. The danger thing is very real and it appeals to risk takers. These dudes claim “chicks dig scars”.
I’m old and have lots of scars so I know better, but I work with lots of twenty-somethings who believe all kinds of lifestyle BS. Tattoos (artificial scars) – yuck!
Personally I think old (as in 50’s and 60’s boomers) is the new young! I see plenty of kids screaming down the freeway on crotch-rockets they have standing up on one wheel. If it’s up to me, I prefer the old ways…rebellious and hip as hell on the hog!
I’m seeing a LOT more fixed gear bikes around here. Example, I just went to a SFBooty show (they suck btw) and there had to be at least 10 fixies parked outside.