Friday, July 10th, 2009...5:36 pm
We’re Number….uh, 2!
How Not To Act Old is the Number 2 Bestselling Humor Book on Barnes & Noble’s website and Number 9 on Amazon’s, which is pretty, yes, awesome considering that over at bn.com the only one ahead of me is that bitch hilarious writer Chelsea Handler, who is tall, blonde, young, a former 14th runner-up in a New Jersey Miss Teen USA pageant, and has her own TV show.
Plus, don’t tell anybody, but I hear she drinks and sleeps around.
Right, dude, that’s what it takes to come out ahead of me. But I warn you, Chelsea, I’ve been at this longer than you and my boobs are realer than I suspect yours are, which we all know is a prime ingredient of female success. Also, my audience reads more, has more money, and is way more desperate for a good laugh. You, girl, are going down.