How Not To Act Old

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Either I’m the last person on earth to learn how to bake a chocolate cake in a coffee mug in just five minutes, or the first — well, the second — over 40 to get in on a “secret” that seems to be all over youtube, with cooking instructions by bespectacled hipsters and nine-year-old boys.

It all started about an hour ago, when I was sitting innocently at my computer, looking, as usual, for some action.  Along came my gal pal Deyna Detroit Vesey, the genius who wrote “I Wanna Be A Toys R Us Kid,” with her recipe for Dangerous Cake.

I thought it was a joke.  But not being one to turn my back on any promise of chocolate cake, I figured I’d try it anyway.  I assembled the ingredients:

and followed the very simple recipe contained in Deyna’s email:

4 tbsp flour

4 tbsp sugar

2 tbsp cocoa

1 egg

3 tbsp oil

3 tbsp milk

bit of vanilla

chocolate chips, if desired and available

Mix dry ingredients in a large, microwave-safe mug.  Mix in egg.  Mix in oil and milk.  Add vanilla.  Add chips (skipped those, but only because I didn’t have any).  Put in microwave for 3 minutes on high.  Remove.

And here’s what I got:

OMFG!  Looks like an actual cake!  The next step is to scoop it onto a plate, whereupon it looks even more real:

And how does it taste?

Before I tell you that, let me just take a moment to answer the other question that may have been nagging at you ever you started reading this post: What does baking this cake have to do with acting old?

Well, if you’re able to hop up and bake one this very minute, as I suspect half of you have already done, it means you’ve got a pantry and fridge stocked with all the necessary ingredients: pretty mature of you.  It also means you own a mug, a tablespoon, and a microwave: again, how grownup!  Plus, unlike your sylphlike younger sisters and bros, you’re probably the kind of person who’s up for eating homemade pastry. at 10 a.m. or 2 a.m. or, really, whenever.

Okay, back to your question about how the cake tastes.  Here’s your answer:

And yes, that’s why they call it Dangerous.